A Nightmare I Want

The more I try to forget, the more I remember.

Like a nightmare that replays every time I close my eyes.

Nothing can cure me now,

Death can’t even end my sufferings.

I used to believe the lies I told myself,

That one day time would rewind.

I used to think that everything was all a dream,

That one day I’d wake up.

I used to take the pain of missing you like as though it were a joke,

But got tricked twice, like an idiot.

I’ve kept everything the way you left it,

That way you’d know how to find your way back.

I’ve held onto the impossible hope that you’d be back.

Even if it’s fighting with you,

Or arguing with you.

At least I was with you.

You’ve moved on with your life,

So why do I keep living in the past,

Too afraid to let you go?

In the end, I’ll be the only one crying again.

The more I try to forget, the more I remember.

Like a nightmare that replays every time I close my eyes.

But if that’s the only way I can see your face again,

Then I’ll keep my eyes closed forever.